यह मेरी किस्मत ही है तुमने ऐसे मेरा आस्तित्व निगल डाला जैसे समुन्दर निगाहों को डुबो डालता है जो उसकी सीमा नापना चाहे ये मेरी किस्मत ही हैजो तुमने मुझे मिटा डाला ऐसे जैसे रेत पर लिखे मेरे नाम से तुम्हारी पागल लहर बच कर न निकल पायी हो यह मेरी किस्मत ही है जो तेरी चाह का वजूद भी ऐसे ख़त्म होती गयीं जैसे नजदीकियां जीवन की बेवक्त बेमौत मारी जाएँ
मेरा पता मेरे नाम में नहीं
घर के द्वार पर नहीं
इ-मेल ई.डी पर नहीं
फ़ोन की डिरेक्ट्री में भी नहीं
किसी के कांटेक्ट लिस्ट में नहीं
किसी भी गाँव , शहर , दूकान, मकान
पता तो मेरा ये है की
हज़्ज़ारो हमनाम लोगों में भी
जब आपको मेरी याद आए
तो सिर्फ और सिर्फ मेरा चेहरा
आपकी जहन में आए
Dear 16 year old BANDHANA, now that I look back at you, I see a very scared dark skinned young girl, who always pretended to be brave and outgoing.
A life chosen by your Dad to be in the midst of modern Lutyen's Delhi but to pretend to grow up like a shy demure Bihari girl,must have been difficult for you. I have always wondered what made your Dad send you to English medium school in Delhi and then to Delhi University for graduation, He could have saved so much money by just keeping you in the village, after all you were just going to get married have kids and settle down somewhere.
Life must have been tough for you to have very orthodox parents who made so many rules to keep you on the right path, and you with your free spirit, always ready to fly like a bird.You had learn to read people from a very young age so you would knew who was good and who was bad. I now know that even when you pretended to trust everybody and yet you had never trusted anybody, You had always trusted yourself.
You had such low esteem of yourself. In your world, you were very dark, the whole world was oh so fair,. in your world ,you were just so plain, the whole world was just so beautiful in your world,you were so so thin, the whole world was just so errrmmmm fat.
I can see you now how difficult it would have been for you to fall in love, to make good friends and to keep them forever. I can see now how many people wanted to be your friend, but you were so unsure and so doubtful of everybody.
Wow your confidence , your confidence was one thing I had always admired you for , I wonder now where did your confidence came from?? I guess your true nature, your ability to empathise with anybody, and your willingness to help anybody in any situation were the qualities which compensated for the weakness you had. You were a FRIEND to whoever wanted to be your friend and it was a very serious relationship for you Even though you were scared so many times, you would go and threat somebody or anybody for a friend, that attitude of yours has not changed,
To take life as it comes and to make it beautiful in any circumstances is an art, and you learnt it when you were very young.You would laugh and make everybody laugh with you. You had this weird sense of humour, which has not left you even now.
Your name had to be changed from a Bihari Bandhana to coolio Vandana. Little did you know that you would end up In U.K where it would be shortened to Van.......
दिल पर पत्थर रख लो
की रख लेने से मन के दुःख
नहीं उड़ पाएँगे
और उमड़ते आँसू भी
कहीं हथेलियों में दब जाएगें
और तुम मुसकरा कर
जमाने को बहला देना
और सुनो यही चलन है नियति का
कि तपता सूरज भी पहाड़ों में सो जाता है
और अँधेरी रात भी धीरे से उतर जाती है
और जब तुम फिर से महसूस कर पाओ
तो दर्द को तकिए से निकाल
आसमान में उड़ा देना
और मुसकराते चेहरे से
चाँद को बता देना की
काले बादलों के बाद सितारों से
सजा आसमान है
और तुम्हे चाहने वालों से भरा जहाँ है